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The 8-10 Challenge: Connecting with your partner

Ya'll, let me start with some vulnerability. This time of connection SAVED my marriage. I was in a cycle where I would go to my 8-5 job, pick our son up from daycare, nurse him, cook dinner, and get him ready for bed. After he was in bed, I would come downstairs if I hadn't fallen asleep and my husband and I would watch a show or I would mindlessly scroll my phone. The honest truth? My husband had no idea I was unhappy because we were talking surface level topics asking each other closed ended questions. Did you know quality time is the top love language? Our quality time, as a society, has seemed to drift towards mindless scrolling and binging on Netflix. Here's some tips on what to do to reconnect and make your marriage stronger.

The Chores

Something both Bria and I cover with clients, and I know she covers in her online childbirth education class and virtual workshops, is sitting down with your partner and taking an inventory of all of the chores around the house.

  1. Create a chore list together with (2 copies): include cart maintenance, dog poop pickup, grocery shopping etc.

  2. Separately, write down who currently does each chore

  3. come back together and compare your lists, talk about what imbalances there are currently and what will change when baby arrives

This is also a great time to get all the little chore annoyances out in the air. For example, I am really good at stuffing the kitchen garbage really full, I mean really full. My husband is usually the one that takes out the trash, so me stuffing the trash extra full is like me TYPING IN ALL CAPS TAKE THE GARBAGE OUT! That's annoying/frustrating to him. Honestly, I knew that was going to be a pain point for him, because how annoying? There is likely 3 or more each, but start by discovering the top three that drive you crazy with one another and make a plan to fix them moving forward. Keep checking in every few months